Liliane Grace, creative writing, author, keynote speaker, The Mastery Club 

Liliane Grace, creative writing, author, keynote speaker, The Mastery Club 

‘You are so like your mother / father!’

How do you feel when somebody makes that comment? Do you squirm or smile? Do you feel as if you’ve been criticised or as if you’ve received a compliment?

For the moment let’s not get distracted by the ‘facts’ regarding how upstanding and admirable or how despicable and revolting your parents actually are; instead, pay attention to your response to being tagged with the same brush.

I’ve had a very intense relationship with my mother over the years. She’s been my greatest inspiration and my greatest disappointment. Her character traits have caused me more upset than almost anyone else, and simultaneously, more opportunity for growth. I have criticised her for her choices, her behaviour, her treatment of her own mother, her treatment of my sister, her relationship with her grandchildren… and I’ve observed the degree to which she has become that which she has condemned, fulfilling a timeless universal law. I’ve experienced deep sadness and grief over her apparent losses and failures; aside from feeling her own disappointment, they meant she was crashing from the pedestal I had placed her on. I’ve also experienced superiority and arrogance about those same choices and behaviours because I would never behave that way!

Here's another question: how do you feel when you catch yourself saying or doing something that one of your parents do or did, especially something that you swore you would never do? Does it generates a warm, fuzzy feeling or an uncomfortable, disturbed feeling?

I’ve noticed that there are broadly two groups of people: those who are proud to be like their parents and those who are horrified, but when we delve a little more deeply, we find that both responses usually betray a ‘one-eyed-ness’; those who are proud are blinding themselves to the traits they don’t admire, and those who are horrified are blinding themselves to the traits they might admire.

Aside from that, when we consider the age-old teaching ‘I Am That’, we realise that we embody all of our parents’ traits, whether we aspire to do so or not. This has little to do with the fact that they are our parents; we embody those traits because we are each a mini-Universe; we contain not only all of the chemical elements of the cosmos but also every single human trait. We embody those traits in either expressed or repressed form, and here’s where our parents come in. They are the ones whose behaviour, when we were children, influenced us to form the beliefs and emotional reactions that would determine which human traits we would express and which we would repress.

Whatever our parents modelled for us, we modelled on – we created templates for behaviour based on how they interacted with us and with their world. We either welcomed their example or we resisted and resented it, whether consciously or unconsciously. If we resisted and resented it, we very likely committed ourselves to becoming just like them. As the old adage says, ‘What you resist, persists’; we are destined to do whatever we condemn until we love and appreciate that behaviour or experience.

Nowadays when I’m accused of being like my mother, I remind myself to allow and own that trait, to find how it serves me and to defuse the charge I have on expressing it. As ever, I’m deeply grateful to Dr John Demartini for his Demartini Method that teaches one how to ‘equilibrate’ such charges.

Actually, I don’t need too many reminders of how like my mother I am; I have even mimicked some of her physical ailments, which of course means that I have taken on her model of the world and her beliefs in that area, since the mind and body reflect each other. It’s not just ‘genes’ that determine our physical tendencies; it’s adopting a parent’s view of the world and lifestyle that determines which ills we adopt because our attitudes literally switch our genes on and off. (Research the growing field of Epigenetics to find out more about that!)

You know what? I’m grateful that our world’s laws are so clear and ‘unviolable’ and reliable that we know where we stand. Imagine how horrific it would be to live in a world governed by chaos and randomness, where we didn’t know at any moment what would be the outcome of a particular action? At least, in this world, we know that every effect has a cause; that nothing happens out of the clear blue sky. We call in our experiences – they come into our world because they are resonating with us because of the thoughts and emotions we are entertaining. Nothing can come into our world without us calling it in and literally co-creating it. We can’t be the victims of anything at all.

If we’ve been privileged to study universal laws, we know that there is a Hidden Order at work, a principle known as the Law of Conservation, which tells us that nothing is ever missing, it’s always present although we might not be recognising its current form. And if what we resist persists, then that clearly points to a purpose to life, which is to love and appreciate and honour each of our many experiences so that they can flow into and out of our lives in a useful, harmonious way.

So yes, you are your mother and your father; you are every person you love and every person you hate. You are the cosmos with its stars and galaxies – you contain these vast spaces and all those chemical elements, and you are the tiniest microcosm as well – each tiny particle of your being is a busy mini-universe. As (I believe) the Oracle of Delphi said, 'Know who you are, be who you are, love who you are.'

 

If you enjoyed reading my thoughts on this topic, consider reading my 'personal development novels' for the whole family, The Mastery Club and The Hidden Order, or buying a copy of my collected articles, Living With Grace

My New Year’s Resolution to 'Under-Achieve'

I don’t know about you but I arrived at the end of last year feeling quite tired and burnt out.

Over Christmas/New Year, I was tackling so much less that I began to deeply relax… and a digestive issue cleared up all by itself… 

It occurred to me that it would be a grand idea to not set out to be SuperWoman this year by taking on so very much but to instead be more realistic about how much I am likely to be able to achieve in a day and deliberately only tackle that much; to deliberately 'under-achieve’.

You know how we can do things in a blink in our minds? I’m a great one for imagining I can get ready in far less time than I actually need because all the little components (morning prayer ritual, exercise, eat, shower, dress, pack food, pack bag, check emails, etc.) typically take longer in the realm of matter than they do in the realm of mind. So I’ve often found myself running late. It wasn’t until I began, in my mind, to ‘over-estimate’ how much preparation time I would need that I began to arrive on time.

I also reframed being early. I realised I had the subconscious notion that if I was early I’d be wasting time (sitting around twiddling my thumbs when I could have been ticking something else off my list…) so I related the idea of arriving early with feeling relaxed and 'sophisticated’. I don't always pull it off, but when I do it feels much better.

Anyway, here’s my intention for this year: to deliberately tackle less and deliberately value and respect my body’s need for ease and my mind’s need for calm.

Interestingly, there’s a profound spiritual truth at the bottom of this decision, and that is trusting in Divine Order. When we are rushing around trying to do a million things we are subconsciously stating that we lack time and we lack the trust that things will flow into our lives in an orderly fashion; we are acting as if we need to 'make it' happen. 

I know that I had fallen into this pattern yet again by the end of last year, and I was becoming distracted by too many tasks that 'might' deliver results. I was putting my faith in the restless external rather than in the changeless, eternal, ‘inner’ principles from which everything flows anyway. 

There's another principle that might appear to be contradictory, and that's the idea 'If you need something done, give it to a busy person', but it's not actually contradictory at all because we are much more productive when we are in a calm, 'eye of the storm' state rather than rushing around like a headless chook...

So here's to valuing and upholding that calm, relaxed and trusting state this year, and returning to it whenever I've lost the plot... Watch this space! :-)

 

If you found this blog interesting, my ebook or articles Living With Grace includes several other articles along similar lines that might interest you, such as 'Birth and Death of the SuperWoman' and 'Going with the Flow… or the Lemmings’/ You might also be interested in my blog re language patterns and forcing results, ‘Bali Belly Insights’, and in Chapter 36 of The Hidden Order, 'SuperWoman Learns How To Create Time’.

What Is Success TO YOU? The Baker Gets Me Thinking...

I was sitting in a business breakfast yesterday morning listening to the famous Beechworth Baker, Tom O’Toole (who is both very inspiring and very entertaining), when he asked the audience the following question: ‘What is success for you?’ and suddenly I realised that, where business was concerned, I had been defining success as something that was still to come.

Immediately I decided to change that definition so that success no longer has to do with book sales (in the future) or number of Mastery Club programs being run (in the future) or number of Facilitators teaching programs (in the future) or number of my writings published (in the future).

I decided to make success something I could absolutely and utterly tick off each and every day. Something that was vitally important to me – in fact, so important that if I didn’t achieve it today and tomorrow and the next day, those other definitions of success had about as much chance of being realised as the proverbial snowball in hell.

I decided to focus on the one factor that has been letting me down, and, coincidentally the very reason that I am building The Mastery Club® business.

The factor? My self-talk. It’s the most powerful and critical element in achieving anything we want to achieve, and I’ve been drawn to write my book and create my program because we teach what we most need to learn... But lately I’ve been far too reactive to appearances and have been letting my past dictate my future far too much. My treasured Mastermind buddies, Georgia Ellis and Cheryl (Chez) Pollock have picked me up on this a number of times over the last few months. It’s a very squirmy feeling to realise that you are not walking your very public talk…

It’s time for me to nail that lesson and move on to the next one!

My decision? I can focus on speaking and thinking consciously for one day at a time, and if I do, that is success for that day. Naturally, enough of those day-at-a-time-successes and all my big future goals are in the bag.

So what is success to me? Conscious, responsible talk TODAY that affirms possibility, trust, gratitude and abundance.

What is it for you???

Being Negative Is Good For Your Health!

Try my ‘Two-Handed Meditation’ to help you Deal With Festive Season Madness

You might instinctively react to the statement that ‘being negative is good for your health’ with a ‘No way! Being negative causes depression and other destructive states of mind, whereas being positive is a creative, optimistic state that is productive and encouraging and hopeful!’ – but if you are familiar with earthing and ions you’ll know that ‘it ain’t necessarily so…’

Most of our modern world activities, especially those involving computers, generate positive ions, whereas the earth generates negative ions. Generally speaking, positive ions cause stress and dis-ease, and negative ions create feelings of relaxation and generate healing.

Interesting, isn’t it? We’re so quick to be positive about the positive and negative about the negative, yet both of those concepts have both positive and negative manifestations – the Law of Polarity itself! You’ll never get a one-sided anything, and so positivity itself is not purely positive, and neither is negativity purely negative.

If you travel further down this road, you’ll soon find that positivity and negativity are also only surface appearances because the longer you sit with something that appears to be negative, the more you find the blessings and benefits in it, and the longer you examine something that appears to be purely positive, the more you’ll find the cracks and flaws in it.

I discovered this when I instigated my ‘Two Handed Meditation’, where I hold out both hands, palms up, and deliberately give thanks for all the ‘positive’ events in my life, imagining them sitting in the palm of my right hand, and then give equal thanks for all the ‘negative’ events in my life, imagining them poised in my left hand. Funnily enough, I’ve usually barely started with the negatives when their benefits become apparent: ‘This’ challenging person is teaching me courage or self-trust or assertiveness or patience or encouraging me to reflect and step down from an arrogant position; ‘that’ challenging health issue is typically inviting me to take more care of myself. Very useful!

On the other hand (literally!), ‘this’ lovely, supportive person is quite possibly keeping me small and dependent, and ‘that’ physical freedom and health could be causing me to take my flexibility and range of movement for granted… The ‘Two-Handed Meditation’ experience is very grounding and gratitude-generating. Give it a try!

Speaking of ‘grounding’, have you read Earthing - The Most Important Health Discovery Ever by Clint Ober, Stephen T Sinatra M.D., and Martin Zucker? This wonderful book explains exactly how the positive ions generated by our modern world cause us significant dis-ease, while the activities and negative ions generated by the earth beneath our feet are profoundly healing.

‘We humans, as all other living beings, are electrical creatures on an electrical planet, and the ground beneath us is more than something we just stand, walk, play and build on.’

It turns out that our Earth has such a significant negative charge that it can quite easily overwhelm the positive charge we build up in our bodies through disconnection from the earth and exposure to electromagnetic frequencies. We’ve become disconnected from the earth by wearing rubber and plastic-soled shoes, walking on wood and asphalt, and also by saturating ourselves in EMFs. We ‘ground’ ourselves by making skin contact with the earth, whether directly through the soles of our bare feet to grass/dirt or to concrete, since it conducts the charge, or through a range of earthing products (see below).

Grounding or Earthing gives rise to a whole host of healing experiences. Being ‘earthed’ or ‘grounded’ helps people to relax, sleep more deeply, require less sleep, and heal from a broad range of illnesses including heart disease, high blood pressure and arrhythmias, lumps, allergies, arthritis, back and joint pain, sciatica, fibromyalgia, digestive issues, electrosensitivity, sleep apnea, varicose veins and bad circulation, multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue syndrome, and auto-immune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis and mixed connective tissue disease.

It enables athletes to recover much more rapidly from aches and pains and injuries/wounds, and all of us to ‘de-stress’ and energise. It balances our hormones and our emotions, helps to calm children with autism and enhance their ability to connect, and might even assist with fertility. It counteracts jet lag and can relieve fatigue for long-distance drivers; it is the ultimate ‘anti-inflammatory’ and anti-ageing tool, and it won’t cause any ‘side effects’! And it’s good for our pets too.

(You’ll find more info at www.EarthingOz.com.au or www.earthinginstitute.net as well as a range of products you can buy such as ‘grounding sheets’ for your bed and ‘grounding mats’ for working at the computer. I’ll be ordering mine too!)

The Law of Polarity is so profound and so powerful that every time a judgement is made in one direction, the exact opposite is birthed simultaneously. In other words, as I explained in The Hidden Order (Chapter 52), when someone becomes committed to peace, someone, somewhere in the world, is simultaneously becoming committed to war.

When my editor and master of metaphysics, Tim Marlowe, pointed this out to me, I was staggered. It sounds crazy and wrong, doesn’t it? But it’s a principle of this universe that is designed into the system to maintain balance and homeostasis. No matter how ‘positive’ and ‘good’ something looks to us, there’s always another, deeper, aspect in the opposite direction. The Yin/Yang symbol warns us of this dynamic via the dot in each half of that symbol.

If we align ourselves fiercely with one polarity we are simultaneously producing an equal amount of the opposite, even if that idea utterly offends us! The particle and anti-particle are birthed in the same moment; it’s a law of physics.

You can see this balancing effect on a large scale in the world today in the fascinating dynamic where, on the one hand we have the push towards computer-based inventions and artificial intelligence and digital ‘short cuts’ and high-powered shakes and potions, and on the other hand, a push towards the simpler life as more and more people embrace ‘slow food’ or ‘earthy’ raw food, yoga, massage, meditation… It’s also apparent in the irony that, as we ‘progress’ and ‘evolve’ away from dirt-floor shanties, bare foot living and unprocessed food to high-rises, high heels and the high life, we are simultaneously causing breakdown in our physical, mental and emotional health…

We can’t cheat the system, and when we understand the principles it becomes quite fun to go looking for how they manifest.

By the way, if you’re like me, you might have felt offended that femininity is associated with yin energy and negativity and masculinity with yang energy and positivity. It didn’t seem fair! But knowing that negativity harbours great gifts and is the source of deep relaxation and healing kind of redresses the balance, don’t you think?

Since you’re at your computer or device reading this, check out Earthing by Clint Ober et al, and then go outside and sit with both bare feet on the grass or the soil or even the concrete (it conducts ‘the charge’). Hold out your two hands, palms up, and generate some gratitude for both negative and positive experiences (charges) in your life. While you’re at it, our beautiful and gentle Mother Earth will be grounding you, drawing the stress-generating positive ions out of you and saturating you with healing and relaxing negative ions. Mmmm…

Are You Watering Concrete?

I’ve just started a Qi Gung class and when I was the only one to turn up for one class, the Qi Gung master and I settled into a long conversation about energy and healing. In the midst of it he made a comment about 'watering concrete’. The image was so striking that I cannot now recall why he said it or what came either before or after that comment.

'What a great title for a blog or newsletter,' I was thinking (which is the other reason why I didn’t hear what he said after that comment). 'I’ll write it when I get home…' only to find myself sitting in judgement on the concept of watering concrete. It was clearly a criticism of someone, something, some sort of action, but perhaps there was something useful to extract from the apparently pointless exercise of watering concrete… ?

I decided to use writing, my medium, to find out. So I leapt off into the unknown with one idea, the idea of ‘owning' concrete-watering. After all, if that idea had grabbed my attention so strongly, it must be reflecting something in me; there must be a message in it for me. 

I wrote one line, ‘I water concrete’, and the rest flowed out…

 

I water concrete.

I spray it energetically,
blasting that hard grey expanse
with a powerful spray of
rainbow-shimmering water,
confident that it will grow.

It 
does
not.

Instead it reflects me back
from its clean grey surface
and I see myself there,
hopeful, patient, industrious,
intent on working miracles.

I used to judge Italian mamas
for hosing concrete. What
a waste of:
water
energy
resources
time!

But perhaps there is a kernel,
the seed of something useful 
in this act?

Much as we love the 
soft dark earth,
Much as we treasure its 
ability to put forth shoots,
Much as we value greenery
and growth and nature,
perhaps… sometimes…
our task is to 
simply
water
concrete.

***

Having written this poem, I am reminded of the story of the Man and the Rock that I read in Why Me? Kicking Cancer and Other Life - Changing Stuff by Yvonne Chamberlain:

‘A man was sleeping in his cabin when suddenly it became filled with light and God appeared before him. The Lord told the man that He had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock, explaining that he was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, and for many days he toiled from sunup to sundown, his shoulder set squarely against the cold massive surface of the rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling his whole day had been spent in vain.

‘Seeing that the man showed signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture, placing thoughts in the man's mind, such as “Why kill yourself over this? You're never going to move it!” or “Boy, you've been at it a long time and you haven't even scratched the surface!” thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and the man was an unworthy servant because he wasn't succeeding in moving the massive stone.

‘These thoughts discouraged and disheartened him and he started to ease up in his efforts. “Why kill myself?” he thought. “I'll just put forth the minimum effort and that will be good enough.” And this he did, or at least planned on doing, until, one day, he decided to take his troubles to the Lord.

‘“Lord,” he said, “I have laboured long and hard in Your service, putting forth all my strength to do that which You have asked of me. Yet after all this time, I have not even budged that rock half a millimetre. What is wrong? Why am I failing?'”

‘To this the Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, when long ago I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you to push against the rock with all your strength and that you have done. But never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. At least not by yourself. Your task was to push.

‘“And now you come to Me, your strength spent, thinking that you have failed, ready to quit. But is this really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled; your back sinewed and brown. Your hands are calloused from constant pressure and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your ability now far surpasses that which you used to have. True, you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My Wisdom. That you have done.

‘“Now, my friend, I will move the rock.”’

***

Do we ever truly know what our purpose is? Buckminster Fuller claimed that our true purpose is always at a 90 degree angle to our perceived purpose. In other words, we can't see it! We think our purpose is 'abc' but it turns out to be 'xyz', just as the bee thinks its purpose is to collect nectar when its real purpose is to pollinate the plants it passes over...

Have fun watering concrete! 

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